i Weekly
No. 357, 2 Sep - 9 Sep 2004

Translated by Kym of JerryBBS

Jerry Yan - Prejudice
Please allow me to look back at a portion of Jerry’s words from his 2002 Pictorial {Amphibian} :

Those experienced street musicians really have my admiration. That being ever prepared and performing so whole heartedly performing; fills me with even greater envy. I have been pressed by the many matters since being in this line for a year now. Frankly I was not always fully prepared for every single incident that occurred. That is where I felt ridden by guilt and suffered the most.

I met an accordionist by the Yarra River banks. I told him that I was about to cut a record. However I was still practicing. For it is only when I am very certain that I am in top form then shall I do it.

That is the way I want to look when I am truly prepared to sing in the future.

Just like when he plays his accordion, his face is filled with an aura of ease and pride.

Seeing Jerry Yan standing on stage that day, he was nervous and a little proud when he held his album in his hand. I suddenly remembered the above portion that he had written before.

His album {Just For You} took 3 years to produce. Selecting the songs from 1000 demos and handpicking 72 out of 1000 photos. The finished product took such pain-staking efforts to fine-tune and perfect.

It should be said that one has put his very best.

To see a first-timer being so wholly involved in producing his album is a rarity. He is one of the producers, wrote lyrics and he even thought about wanting to sing a song that he could sing and play along on the piano.

The song that Jerry wrote ‘Forget Myself’ is a classic love song, a tad cliche; but it exudes sincerity. He said that when his lyrics were chosen, Li Si Song didn’t even know that he wrote them.

With the members of F4 having their albums released before him, he was no in a rush, ‘I know that I the type that needs comparison to fair better.’

As for sales evidently one can’t be nonchalant about it, it just that he wanted everyone to evaluate his hard work. ‘I can’t decide the sales it is up to the listeners.’

‘When recording ‘1 Metre’, I wanted to share with my friends. Unexpectedly a friend heard it and asked me, ‘How sang this song? It is quite nice.’ I felt rather happy and Teacher Si Song was really able to help in training my voice for the better.’

I suspect if in the process of his preparation of the album, he encountered many prejudicial opinions of the supposed professionals in the music industry.

"Yes, for these past 3 years, I’ve wanted to work hard to prove to those who initially had felt that I can’t carry a tune at all. But of course it is not only to prove to them. And I’m not saying that I have done that already. It is just that I hope to show them that I truly want to do my best and it’s not all talk. In fact I spent a lot of time to learn different things. I even spent my own money to learn the piano and vocals. Thus besides technical areas like sound-mixing, I participated in every stage of production. So if you were to ask me anything, I could answer you. "

Jerry feels that his singing has a certain characteristic
“Basically I’m not a strong singer, the most I can say is that I can sing with emotions. I don’t have a good voice by nature. So even though I might have discovered that I can sing but what of it? Would everyone definitely like it? For those that can’t sing, a machine can edit it till it is listenable. Throughout the production I encountered a lot of things. And now I can say that my singing has a soul.

‘Do I have the confidence to convince them? I have the confidence to stand on stage and sing for them. As I feel that at least I have found a part that I can make use of and the style of song that is suitable for me. . . . . . I feel that I have sung with sincerity and not just that I have nothing but just a packaged Idol by the Record Company. Yet I know that there will still be others who feel that I am good enough.’

I know that my forte is acting. But I only hope that everyone can see my improvement through the album. Though I have no confidence that everyone will accept what good I’ve done. At most, I have tried many things. . . . . . That’s why I’ve said that I hope to listen to everyone’s opinion. This is to enable me to be very objective and make further improvements. I hope that everyone has set a high standard for me and not treat me like an Idol.

He said that he admires Koji Tamaki and aims to be a composer cum singer. When he said this, he was very serious about it.

‘This album is my first step. My voice is rather low and I can’t sing Jacky Chueng’s kind of songs. . . . . . I’m afraid everyone will cry if they hear it. I tried my best to have the vocals sound the most comfortable to everyone’s ears. And have to try a varied performance. I like Koji Tamaki’s voice and his musical direction. I hope to be like him too. To develop a more emotive voice and be able to embody it into a song.’

19th August, An Asian Press Conference for Jerry Yan’s ‘Just For You’ Album
All the major papers in Taiwan and Hong Kong had headlines that was written in these ways the next day :

Jerry Yan Missed Out on Asking Lin Zhi Ling about her feedback
~ Tai Wan Lian He Bao

Jerry Yan Stands Up for Lin Chi Ling’s Chastity
~ Tai Wan Zi You Shi Bao

When Jerry Yan Talks about Lin Chi Ling, he full of ‘That’s right! That’s right!’ ~ Tai Wan Zhong Guo Shi Bao

Jerry Yan : Don’t Hurt Lin Zhi Ling
~ Hong Kong Apple Daily

All of then were about famous model, Lin Zhi Ling. If one does not read the smaller print below the captions, it would be difficult to link this to the more important topic of the day. It is in fact Jerry’s new album.

I was an objective observer present when he was surrounded by all the press of the major papers in Taiwan at a round table. They talked for over an hour. Questions about the album were asked a matter-of-fact and the answers being noted down just for show. Later after beating round the bush, the topic was swerved to the gossip topic and that becomes the mainstay of the interview.

This situation has already become such a habit.

The focus is blurred. The media is never concerned about the work. No matter how hard the artistes had worked, in the end they are all but a topic for chit-chat to entertain the masses.

I was beginning to understand why whenever I see Jerry; he is so filled with unexplainable anxiety, in such an urgency to express himself.

‘I treat the reporters as friends. At times I might say some things in joking manner. As a result, some might feel that I have said something inappropriate.’

I can only hope that whenever we meet, I can make everyone feel happy and comfortable. And hope that everyone doesn’t look too hard nor magnify what I have said. Cause once this takes place, some might misinterpret as the words put differently.

When facing the public, Jerry is very cautious; able to handle all with a smile, he is almost diplomatic.

For example when he was asked, ‘You mentioned that the media is very nice today, not asking any sensitive questions. . . . . .’

- - What I said was that the questions everyone asked today is still rather humane.

Or when Guo Pin Chao whose album was out at the same time was mentioned or the often Vic Zhou with whom he is often compared. . . . . .

- - I myself is my own enemy, I don’t want to be compared with ohers. There is no end to any comparison.

‘Many in the media feels that your EQ has improved. Do you feel that you have changed or has the media finally connected with you?’

‘I feel that it is a mutual understanding that built up gradually. Just like how I am chatting with all of you now, I feel very happy. When I don’t feel that any one has intentionally asked biting questions, then I am able to handle with ease. Yet some like to make a headline of my casual remarks made in jest. I am very worried that this will cause the audience to think that something had happened and was I. . . . . . I can only be careful and hope that others might now think so.’

He said that he has learnt through painful personal experience and had gleaned discernment from the celebrities that he knew.

‘Andy Lau, Sammi Cheng and Fei Xiang have enlightened me a lot. They related their experiences, helping me to grow rapidly through their decades of know-how. What have I learnt? It’s that I am more positive and constructive where some concepts are concerned.’

Jerry Yan born on the 1st of January, 1977. Let’s see the conclusions from his detailed astrology prediction.
(1) He is very firm in his personal beliefs. In the process of fulfilling his ambitions, the principles that he holds fast to maybe a stumbling block. Although he wants to keep a balance yet perhaps he is too forthright and bothered by honor, he often isn’t able to give himself any room for changes.

His tolerance of setbacks is very low. When this happens, his emotions will be clearly shown.

(2) In terms of emotions, many are complicated and contradicting. For example, he has a high sense of responsibility and yet he takes on more than he should emotionally and responsibility-wise. He is easily worked up and cannot keep it in. He might be very open in his understanding but conservative in his dealings.

Internally he has a lot of struggles and at times is trapped as he does have it in him to decide.

(3) His weakness is being overly sensitive. This may cause him to lack patience and it is very hard for him to be someone else’s subordinate. A point to note when urging oneself and those around you is not to be excessively demanding or intolerant.

A shy introvert who isn’t superficial, it is difficult to get to know him on a deeper level. Having humble attitude, he at times will be over-critical of himself as he is unwilling to show his vulnerabilities.

(4) He has a strong sense of self-awareness and needs praises and validation. With an urge to be accepted, he hopes to become an important person and he admires a ‘hero’ who unique charisma.

At home or in any organization, he is one who shoulders many responsibilities. Even in his childhood, he possesses clear-headedness and objective wisdom.

(5) Easily becomes uptight and angry, he is especially frustrated when those who make changes without any rhythm or reason. At times in order to achieve his goals, he is not able to tactfully ‘please’ others. Being unable to fully expressed himself with ease, he will indulge in having fun but yet not being able to let go without a care.

Possessing a pessimistic outlook on Life, at he may be unclear about his goals and may even feel depressed as he seems to not be able to cope with everyday life.

Personal Character is in fact Preordained and there is no means of changing
A Star whose adored by millions of fans throughout these 4 years, yet in a crowd he is still ill at ease. It’s hard to believe that he is a regular who lacks self-confidence.

I recall during his movie promotion in Singapore in the beginning of the year, he is so lively and mischievous in privte. When he faces the crowds, he appears to be at a loss.
After the event, he asked those around in chagrin, ‘Did I appear very much like an idiot just now?’

The Press Release was fit for a Superstar and still he could not contain his anxiety. He finally broke into a smile whenVic Zhou and Vanness Wu appeared.

‘It is very hard relax. When there are so many people and after a while. . . . . .I need time to get to know unfamiliar people. ’

When he was asked if he will come to Singapore for promotion, he felt awkward. ‘Of course if everyone feels that his album is good enough then I will come. If not, then others might. . . . . .’It is inconceivable that a Superstar is so lacking in confidence.

From his old habit of collecting sunglasses, Jerry said that it was because he doesn’t like others looking at him straight in the eyes. I might think too much but I surmise that besides his shyness, he probably has a low-esteem.

I suspect that is has to do with the environment that he grew up in.

From a poor family, he started supporting himself through school since Grade 5. He must have encountered countless prejudices and discriminations. He said before how he went from Tao Yuan to work in Taipei, co-rented a 1 meter-square room and was belittled by the landlord for being poor. I remembered the look of hurt in his eyes as he narrated this.

In his heart, there bears a lot of bitterness.

Since Grade School to Senior High, he has been the class monitor. ‘Many a times, I love to compete with others, like in sports. I wanted to get the very best results and you might feel it has to do with my family background. . . . . .I feel that this has more or less also influenced my work attitude. It’s just that in many instances, I want to show others so that my hard work is visible to them. ’

When other feels that I cannot do it, then the more I will prove them wrong. I have always felt that he somehow has this mentality. ‘More or less this is so. Just because someone said to me, the more so I want to prove to them that I am not as they think I am.’ Hoping to prove, eager to show through his deeds, being demanding on himself and others, this pressure is so burdensome to bear.

‘My way of releasing stress is playing ball. I feel it is a struggle for the fittest between men.’ What everyone sees as just a past-time, to him it is a matter of winning. Jay Zhou who is rather close to him recently joked, ‘Jerry Yan is very easy to provoke. Especially in the ball court, whenever anyone provokes him, he just give his all not matter what. He never thinks that he will get injured.’

Whether be it in singing or in his life.

He will not bow to failure.

Even if he gets hurt.

During the interview, a lady sits elegantly besides Jerry
As though she is an outsider, she smiles casually and at times has a piercing look in her eyes.

She looks familiar somehow.

After some thought, scenes from Takeshi Kaneshiro’s visit to Singapore came to mind.

The lady is Yao Yi Jun, the foremost agent in Taiwan. She is the astute lady who caters only to Takeshi Kaneshiro for handling his matters. Presently seated in the Press Conference, this is evident of Mr. Yan’s Superstar status.

After you have entered the Entertainment Circle, what was the incident that you felt that you were most wronged?
Jerry, ‘Wow! There are too many. I won’t be able to finish. . . . . .’ Madam Yao smiled and cut in, ‘Forget about it. Don’t think about it.’

She was anxious that raking up the past may stir unwarranted rumors.

‘Forgetting Myself’ is about your love life?

Jerry, ‘Ha ha! . . . . . .You can say that but not exactly so too. Yes, that is what I used to think las time. . . yes, in fact. . . it is her story and mine.’

Jerry pointed right away to Yao Yi Jun who was sitting behind. The matter rested in jest.

What are your future plans?

Jerry, ‘There are so acting projects in the works and I maybe asked to be a Spokesman.’

‘We will announce later.’ Madam Yao smiled and replied formally.

Jerry blurted without thinking, ‘Because the deal went through.’

Yao Yi Jun smiled and quickly interjected, ‘Not that at all. There may deals but we are still in the negotiating stage. . . . . .’

Thought Jerry handled the press with trepidation, yet with Madam Yao’s safeguard, he was safe and sound.


Inserted pics with commentaries

Pic 1
The floral arrangements from his dearest F4 members are placed centre-stage.

Vic is the most humerous.
I will slow down cause I know that you three guys are having a hard time chasing up to me. So . . . . . .I will try my best to slacken my pace and let you guys catch up. Go For It! *I am Mars and all of you are my prisoners of war.

Vanness Wu was concerned about the style of the album
I finally heard your new songs. And I know that this is your ‘first time’ trying rap and doing your own lyrics. It is really great. Here’s wishing you that your album sales will shoot to the skies.

Ken Chu swears to work hard in hot pursuit
After 3 years of waiting, we have finally waited for your ‘first’ album. Here’s wishing that your album sells phenomenally well. I will work hard too.

Vic and Vanness came personally showing that their friendship never changed.

Pic 2
The most satisfied ones are definitely the 60 over fans from all corners of Asia who were lucky participants of the Press Release.

Met up with local fans, Susan and her friend. They will accompany Jerry continuously from the gathering in August at Taipei and end on the 31st in Bangkok. Chasing for a whole month, not leaving nor giving up, they really have very astonishing conviction.

Pic 3
The Press Conference was grand and the fans advertised in the papers. Andy Lau, Sammi Cheng, Harlem Yu, Jolin Cai and Vivian Hsu all send their greeting and well-wishes via VCR.

* Here Vic was punning on that fact that Mars is the Greek God of War and his nickname, Zai. It also means guys or fellows. So He being the God of War calls the other guys his fellows.